Sometimes A Video Comes At The Right Time

introspective after video
I’m the worst at Youtube videos. I never like, I never comment, it takes forever before I remember to subscribe – even if I love every video you post. I’m working really hard at being an engaged viewer. I’m not there yet but, hey, what is life if we aren’t always striving towards something, right? One day I will totally remember to comment on a video.

I also go in waves in terms of what videos or channels I watch based on what I need in life. (Yes, I realize this is not unique to me. I’m building to something. Give me a break, imaginary reader that I have apparently decided is harassing me!)

I really love watching Carrie Dayton when I need a video with a few laughs, some body positivity or just some old fashioned reassurance that it’s okay to not be 100% a grownup all the time at 30. Also, can we talk about how jealous I am of her ability to rock a half bun?

My other fav, and I’m not alone in this at all, is Kalyn Nicholson. Kalyn is not someone to watch all the time. Sometimes I’m not in the mood for her spiritual early 20s discoveries and I just want to shout “Yes, we were all 24 and drove cars through the mountains once! Geez!” But sometimes… sometimes I let those videos pile up and I just disappear into two hours of beautifully edited, yoga-filled, inspiring content.

Sometimes a video just comes at exactly the right time.

(Or I watch that video two months after it came out and that is exactly the right time.)

This video is the one I’m talking about. As you may be able to guess from my radio silence recently, I’m grappling with the idea of regret and wondering about some choices that I made what seems like a very long time ago – or was somewhat manhandled into, what seems like a very long time ago. Nostalgia is a real bitch, my friends.

Anyway, I was finally in a Kalyn mood and the Toxic Things video popped up on my feed. It was exactly what I needed this month to get me out of dwelling in the past and force me to focus on the future. We let go of things for a reason and sometimes it is hard but it’s so worth it. And Kalyn says it better than I do so please head on over to Youtube and give this girl a little love.

(Just for fun, Here’s a throwback to the last time I felt real introspective about this exact thing and also used this exact picture, apparently. Two steps forward, one step back, my beautiful friends.)

~*~*~

I’m thinking that I want to make Tuesday posts (when I have Tuesday posts) about new discoveries/media that I like, etc. How do ya’ll feel about that? It’ll be like a mini-version of Wonderful, except not a podcast and not as clever as Rachel & Griffin and also not starring a 30 under 30 media luminary. So… not like Wonderful at all.

Hey! What’s your favourite recent discovery? Hit me up in the comments!

No Spend April – Week One

No Spend Week One
Week One

It’s recap time! Because we’re one week into No Spend April already. WOO! Week One! (Also, I totally didn’t take pictures of my meal prep this week. Hopefully that’s not actually something you want.)

The Spends

Blah blah blah, mortgage, cell phone, condo fees property tax… who cares? Let’s get down to the things I can control!

1. My gas gamble didn’t work – gas went up by four cents and I had to fill up this weekend. Meh.
2. Groceries only cost $19 this week! I have a rice and bean recipe that I am obsessed with and my pantry was already stocked with carrots, peas, onion and rice so I mostly just made a huge batch of that and then supplemented with some burrito bowl fixings. Delicious.
3. … I went to the Make It Market with my mom on Saturday and spent $40.

You Spent $40!?

Calm down, internet. I spent $40 and I don’t feel bad about it. I bought a one-of-a-kind art piece, created by a local artisan. For about six months, I’ve been trying to put together a wall in my kitchen – it currently has a chalkboard and a canvas print on it and I really want to hang up a corkboard that I already have for organizational purposes. However, this wall needs a something else to help balance the proportions… and I finally found something! After months of looking! I can finally not have my corkboard just leaning up against my wall in my kitchen.

I feel fine with this purchase because it was conscious and mindful. In months of looking, I hadn’t found anything I liked and I spent a ton of time weighing out the purchase before making it while at the Market. (I also didn’t buy any craft distilled liquors or tiny rings like I vaguely wanted to, so… winning.)

The No Spends

I know, that’s not an actual phrase, but I’m using it.

One of my biggest expenses is eating out. Part of it is that I love trying out new restaurants, with or without other people, but another part of it is just habit. I used to travel for work and I got super used to sitting at the bar in a restaurant with a book and a glass of wine to unwind. I got super used to grabbing a Chopped Leaf bowl on my way home from the gym because it was quick and healthy, and I was starving. Like I wrote about the tuna melt last week, a lot of what I did was just so easy and relatively inexpensive… but easy and inexpensive adds up, yo!

Right now, I think I’m still riding on the high of being oh so virtuous. It feels good to clear out my pantry and to go home to eat the meals I prepped. (Note: Old!Erin would totally have prepped meals and still gone out to eat anyway… that’s why it’s nice to have the “challenge” element to lean on.)

The Yoga

Oh my gosh, you guys, I am loving the Yoga With Adriene TRUE challenge. It reminds me a bit of being back in university and getting in touch with all the elements of myself – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. I will note: I don’t recommend this challenge if you just want to “work out”. Though there are definitely some challenging physical elements, this is really about developing a yoga practice and figuring out what it means to you.

I did miss a day of the challenge – on Friday, I spent the night at my parents’ house, having a railway night (long story), and then I spent a day out with my mom on Saturday, going straight to my Saturday night plans. I had thought I’d be home by 10 pm or so, then being able to unwind with a little yoga, but that was not to be. In an amazing moment of kismet, Adriene actually spoke about how we have to develop our own practice, how it make take some of us longer than 30 days to complete the challenge and how we have to celebrate ourselves… during the session I wasn’t able to complete on Saturday and ended up doing on Sunday night. How perfect!

Two Days In

No-Spend

Well, my friends, I’m two days into No Spend April and I haven’t goofed it up. Yet. (I would really hope that I wouldn’t mess up in two days, but… you know. If
I hadn’t publicly announced to the entire world that I was doing a No Spend Month, I probably definitely would have popped on over to the original Sunterra after my Lagree class on Monday to grab one of their tuna melt paninis. Only $6.99! Such a good deal! Those things are like crack.)

Okay, but let’s talk about the fact that if I get a tuna panini every week, that’s $28 a month and that is basically my entire grocery budget for a week.

Also, I’m definitely almost out of eyeshadow primer and am going to be rocking a real shimmery eye for most of the month because I do still have a bunch of the Sin Urban Decay Primer Potion left. And I should use that stuff.

Spend

Anyway, thus far I immediately had to get gas on the first – only $25 worth because I was convince the price of gas was going to go down and I could get a marginally better deal later in the week. (Sidenote: I was correct. It went down by about two cents. I could probably save a full $2!)

No Spend Groceries
No Spend April – Week One Groceries

I also technically picked up my groceries for the week on March 31, because I was out running errands with my mom and she had to go to Superstore anyway. Full disclosure: I spent $34. It was all the nutritional yeast and the cashews’ fault!

But the yeast will last for longer than the entire month and the cashews are both delicious for snacks and earned me 1200 Optimum points towards free groceries. And $34 is pretty close to $30, so I’m not going to complain.

I live by meal prep so I made peanut butter and berry oats for breakfast the week (you can see the berries above, though I did mix them with the dregs of a few packs that were just languishing in the freezer) and chicken stirfry bowls for lunch for the week (all I had to pick up for that was the spinach and frozen veg – I had herbed chicken, basmati rice and all the sauces kicking around all ready).

Dinner is chaos, I’ve discovered I’m obsessed with the new Green Giant cauliflower tots, they’re all I want to eat ever anymore and I’m sure they’re secretly terrible for me so please don’t destroy my dreams. Also, I will be so sad when the package that I weirdly hoarded in my freezer for no reason at all runs out, because those things are expensive if they’re not on sale. And I’d try to make my own, but cauliflower is expensive too, yo.

An Incredibly Important Question

Do you guys want to see pictures of my meal prep? Is that a thing people like?

No Spend April – Challenge

Readers! Viewers! Guys! It’s me! I’m blogging! I know… are you hallucinating? Am I hallucinating? Is this a shared delusion, ala those people in France who died from dancing? (Note: Yes, that is a real thing. I’m super up on my internet obsessions from three years ago. Confirm it here.)

Though all those things may yet be true, I’m also blogging. I often get enthusiasms to get my life in order and this is one of those times. So you get to reap the benefits! How fun is that!?

As some of you know well, I recently had a super incredible roommate – young, fun, similar interests, tidy, hobbies and activities that kept her out of the house occasionally… all the things you want when you are bringing in a virtual stranger to share your home. She recently moved back into her own home, as she had been only there short-term while waiting for her renters to move out. This sounds like a random digression, but the reason I bring it up is because I haven’t yet replaced her. Having such a great roommate made me realize that I don’t have to compromise. I can wait again for a great roommate. I don’t have to live with all the 18 year old boys who keep trying to submit to be my roommate. (Why? I don’t know why… I think my ad is pretty clear that I don’t want to live with a child?)

But while I don’t have to compromise, what I do probably have to do is tighten up my belt a wee bit. And if there’s one thing I love (and thrive in doing), it’s challenges. So, without further ado, let me announce…

NO-SPEND APRIL

Yes! I had a friend do a No Spend January and she walked out of it with such insight about her spending habits – it’s time for me to gain that insight. And it’s time for you to come along with me on this journey on the blog. (Because even if I love challenges, I need shame to complete them.)

Anyone who has listened to my Riverdale podcast, Mystery, Outsiders and Abs, knows that I feel very strongly that you have to pay your rent if you want to live in a place. So obviously “no-spend” won’t be no spend…

THE RULES

Yes, you can spend on:

  • $30 grocery budget per week (probably just eggs, veggies and fruit)
  • Utilities/mortgage/property tax
  • Emergency medical supplies (fingers crossed, I won’t need this)
  • Gas
  • 1 social outing (because girl is not going to go crazy… I mean, anti-social)

No, you can’t spend on:

  •  Class Pass will be put on hold
  • Yoga membership will be put on hold (I’m going to do the Yoga with Adriene TRUE 30 day challenge to fill this gap… two challenges at once!)
  • Personal care products (makeup, skincare, face masks, shampoo, etc)
  • Alcohol
  •  Eating out
  • Fast food
  •  Clothes
  • Movies
  • “Spa” treats (massage, mani, pedi, etc)

Eee! How will I succeed? Only time (and this blog) will tell!

I’ll be posting weekly updates on the blog and sporadic sneak peeks on Insta (probably on my story) – aflimsyplan

32 Weeks – Almost Everything

Almost Everything

I know, I know. I’m in Calgary and I’m not writing about the Stampede. I will (I actually love the Stampede unlike a lot of other people who have lived here for any significant period of time, it seems), but as of right now I’ve only been to the grounds once for about 5 hours. Once I have a bit more Stampede-ing under my belt, I’ll be all over a recap. For now, I’m going to bust out one of my vaguely emotional, introspective and overall vague posts that probably only my friends will enjoy. Whateves, it’s my blog, I do what I want.

Something might happen
but nothing will be neverending

~ The Hold Steady, “Almost Everything”

For the past little while, I’ve been struggling with the idea that I should be in a certain emotional place, thinking or feeling a certain way. That if I don’t get there, that’s it. Even more specifically, if I don’t get there soon, that’s it. I never thought I would care much about turning 30, and I’m still not sure that I do, but I am starting to feel like I am running out of time to do and have the things that I want. And that if I don’t pull it together and feel differently than I do, I won’t get these things.

The way I feel right now feels like forever.

Nothing is forever, good changes happen, just like bad changes do.

When the lights come up
I can’t see so much
I can hear you breathe
I can feel almost everything

~ The Hold Steady, “Almost Everything”

Anyone who has been around me for any extended period of time lately has probably heard me announce that I hate everyone.

This is obviously not true.

I am probably closer with both of my brothers right now than I have been at any time in my life. I have absolutely amazing friends and I work with a really cool group of people who somehow aren’t even annoying when it’s 8 am on a Monday and I haven’t had any coffee yet because I’m doing a juice cleanse. (Well… aren’t that annoying. And, really, that is my fault, guys, not yours.)

But everyone new in my life? I just hate everyone. I’ve got no patience for any sort of nonsense, annoying questions, more questions about myself than I deem appropriate, poor grammar, using the wrong “you’re”… literally most things.

And if you swear to keep it decent
Then yeah, I’ll come and see you
But it’s not gonna be like in romantic comedies
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

~ The Hold Steady, “The Weekenders”

The funny thing is, the less I try to feel differently, the more fun I have. The less I try to like everyone and be relentlessly (or maybe aggressively) positive, as is my way, the more I don’t hate everyone. I think I’m better than I think I am.

So I’m going to jam out to some live videos of The Hold Steady, drink some boxed wine and lean into the way I feel, even if I think that I should be in a different place. Because I am clearly an idiot.

(Note: I realize that 32 weeks kind of sounds like a pregnancy reference? It is most certainly, definitely NOT in any way shape or form. My family reads this, yo!)