Y’all. I had big plans to write this post while sipping Beer 10, surrounded by Survivor finale drama after a fun night of trivia. Instead, I’m coming to you live from a day that started with a burst water pipe in my basement and a frantic call to first my dad and second a plumber. If that’s not a metaphor for how the holidays can sneak up and slap you in the face with chaos, I don’t know what is. But maybe that’s why today is the perfect day to write about rest. When all you want to do is cry, it’s more important than ever to make space to breathe. So let’s talk about how to actually rest during the holidays—because if I can find a sliver of calm today, anyone can.

Lean Into Low-Key Family Time

For me, nothing feels more restful than hanging out with my family while we collectively do… nothing. There’s something magical about existing in the same room as people you love, even if everyone is doing their own thing. Reading, scrolling, napping, chatting intermittently—it all counts.

It’s like body doubling but for emotional connection. If you’re not familiar with body doubling, it’s a productivity tool where having someone else in the room helps you focus or feel more at ease. During the holidays, it works in reverse for me: when we’re all lounging around, it reminds me that rest is okay because we’re all resting together.

Skip the Hustle

There’s a fine line between holiday traditions and holiday obligations. Feel free to skip anything that feels like the latter. You don’t have to host the cookie exchange, make your own garlands, or create a “perfect” holiday memory at every turn.

Give yourself permission to say no or, better yet, to do the easy version of everything. Store-bought cookies? Absolutely. Just stick them on a plate. Streaming a Yule log on TV instead of making one in your fireplace? Everyone loves seeing that hand stoke the fire!

Find Rest in Connection

Sometimes the most restful thing is spending time with people who get you. Whether that’s a close friend, a sibling, or your best co-worker, lean into the relationships that feel effortless. Catch up over coffee, go for a walk, or sit in the kitchen while someone else cooks (pro tip: offer to stir something once in a while and they won’t even notice you’re just hanging out).

Rest doesn’t always mean solitude. For some of us, connection is the recharge we need. 

This includes carving out time to share small traditions with people who matter. This is my first Christmas with Tyler, and we are going to be chill and simple. We’ve already watched Die Hard together—his favorite—and we’re probably going to watch it again. We just need to hibernate together, who cares what else happens?

And if you’re wondering how to make room for all this restful connection during a busy holiday season, it’s worth revisiting 2022’s Blogmas post, No Is a Complete Sentence. Setting boundaries is a huge part of creating space for rest, connection, and all the things that bring you joy.

Take the Pressure Off

I know it’s tempting to make everything perfect—decorations, gifts, traditions, outfits—but let me save you the trouble: nobody’s holiday is ever perfect. And that’s fine. What matters is the feeling, not the optics.

So if you want to stay in your pajamas all day, you should. If you forgot to wrap a gift and end up handing it over in the store bag, also good. Your friends and family are not judging you (and if they are, that’s their problem).

Schedule Absolutely Nothing

This one’s crucial: block off some time where you have no plans. Not “no plans unless something comes up.” Not “no plans but I’ll still check my email.” Just nothing. (And, yes, I am very much a victim of the “I’ll take today off but still check my email” mentality. Don’t be me.)

Use this time however you want. Maybe you sleep in. Maybe you watch a bad movie. Maybe you wander around your house eating two week old Rice Krispie squares. The point is, it’s time for you, free of expectations.

Make Rest Easy

Rest isn’t always the big stuff like sleeping in or taking a day off. It’s also the little moments—like drinking hot chocolate while staring out the window, or spending 20 minutes untangling a ball of yarn and calling it mindfulness. (It counts!)

For me, it’s white hot chocolate with Screwball Peanut Butter Whiskey and sitting next to my favourite person watches football. Or putting my feet up while my favorite movie plays in the background. The simple things are often the most restorative, and they don’t require a big production.

How are you planning to rest this holiday season? Let me know in the comments—or don’t, because you’re too busy relaxing with your people. Either way, you’re doing it, Joe.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some setting my phone on “Do Not Disturb”, a mug of spiked hot chocolate, and the season finale of Survivor calling my name.